Tomorrows future today

I've been reflecting about where I was this time last year. I was a mess, plain and simple. I feel like I've come a long way, that I've "found myself" a little. Whatever that means. I just feel like I have a little more understanding of who I am as a person. Though, despite all this finding I would still use the word "lost". Sometimes I'm not sure a lost person should be looking for a significant other. I can't even answer the question "what do you want?" . I don't know what I want. I'm hoping when I find it I'll know it. I feel like I could make a long list of qualities I would want in a person but then I could meet someone that fits all those qualities and not want them or fall for someone that doesn't fit any of those qualities. I don't want to be complicated but it feels like this whole business of finding someone special is complicated. Guys will tell me about awful girls they have encountered. I don't want to be like them. I want to be different but sometimes I fall right in where they left off. Other times I get upset about someone treating me a certain way and then I turn around and do the same thing to someone else. It's a complete mess. I think from this day forward I am not going to actively seek anything. I'm going to take down my profile from dating sites and everything. Maybe it will make me feel less pressure to be dating and make my life less...well..complicated.